If Dating Younger Women Is Evil...

I never tied the knot. I never will, with someone my own age(40's) My present girlfriend is 25. Sometimes she does things my male friends wives would find inconceivable. Like the topless swimming incident July 4th. Me, being an immature 40 year old, actually clapped and searched for my camera.

Until recently, I dated my own age. But every girlfriend since college has said the same thing, "You need to grow up!"

I always thought, "Why? Nature is has a pretty good handle on the aging/deterioration thing. Do I really need to follow suit because that what you are supposed to do?"

I know am judged as an immature guy. I don't care, it's not like I would get along with somebody sporting that op-ed about my anyway right?

This mindset doesn't lend itself to the concept of marital bliss. Most women want to get married. The majority of them would like children as well. My career path...well, let's say it isn't well lit. It's not well traveled either. In fact, I'm pretty sure I am the only one taking this obscure route to success. There have been quite a few stops to refuel and regroup. Maybe too many.

Women are smart. After 30, they see guys like me and run for the hills. I am not out to fool anybody. I know what I am; and how I appear to the opposite sex; and I'm cool with all of it. I know when I am older, I will regret not having someone to grow old with. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a kid or two. Before that reverie gets to far, I realize I am late for my latest McJob at whatever bar or restaurant I work at.

Gentleman, if you want to make sure no woman with any brains, or class, will try and tie you down; here are some pointers from a life-long bachelor...

1. Always drive a car that is a minimum of 5 years older than the current year. Try and affix as many tacky bumper stickers as you can.
2. Wear concert tee-shirts from concerts you went to in high school. If the shirts haven't been washed since high school, better still.
3. If a girl asks what your career plans are for the future, recite your scheduled for next week from "T.G.I.F's"
4. When invited to a big family gathering with her relatives, get really drunk, find her widowed aunt and relentlessly hit on her all night. I did this at a wedding 10 years ago, and I am still hearing about it.
5. Anytime you see her longingly gaze at someones child, ruin the moment by getting in the kids face and screaming, "HOOD RAT!!"

Basically shirk off any ideas of taking on the responsibility of another person. If you want to be alone your whole life that is. Otherwise, get it together! You don't want to end up like me do you? If you do, come on over Thursday, there are two NFL games on. Woo-ho!